9:00 – I turned on the TV and Mitt
Romney was talking right at me. Apparently shifting off foreign oil
dependency and having a North American centric energy policy will
create 4 million new jobs. I didn't know it took 4 million people to
flood an arctic environmental sanctuary with oil. I could do it with
just under 1000. There's my bid. Your move, America.
9:02 – You see what politics does to
me? I just low-balled America's bid to kill Puffins. I just assumed
they would do the worst. Granted, that's kind of their track record,
but I don't want to live like this. I don't want to make plans to
ruin things more efficiently than America could. I want to forget
what a bad person I am, and how fucked this planet is. I'm changing
channels, stamped it, no erasies.
9:05 – Matthew Perry has a new show!
Chandler was always my favourite. I can already feel the existential
dread melting off me. It was really nice of NBC to let Global run a
new episode of Go On, even though NBC is showing the debate. Letting
another network scoop them with their own show. No wonder they fired
Dan Harmon.
9:23 – Holy pathos! This is actually
a good show. It's funny, it's got some heart. Dead wife is kind of an
easy premise, but you have to start somewhere so I'm always more
forgiving at the start of a season. I even gave 2 Broke Girls like 6
whole weeks to get their shit together before ignoring it completely.
They were like 3 years late on the cupcake boutique thing and Whitney
Cummings is involved. There was no way that could ever be a good show
and I still put some time in. I'm so patient! How 'bout me, world?
9:30 – A show about men's questionable parenting skills? Click.
9:31 – Had to cross the debate on a
few channels (old time cable, kids). The economy. Ugh, right?
9:34 – Twilight? That guy wolfed out
and it doubled his body mass? Where did that even come from? Are they
just full of air? How are they creating extra body mass out of
nothing? That's not how the world works. You can't make something out of nothing. Next.
9:44 – A TVO documentary about an
organic sheep farming family? Sure.
9:47 – Some really pretty shots of
people staring at the horizon, but organic farming is exactly as
boring as you'd think.
9:52 – Potassium deficient soil. Ugh,
right? I'm setting my hopes on 10 o'clock.
10:05 – May have hit paydirt with
this farming thing. A girl was talking about how she gave up hoping
that there wouldn't be any man made environmental catastrophes, that
she couldn't stand to watch the world destroy itself anymore so she
moved out to the country to grow her own food. It resonated with the
hour-ago me. I'm sick of seeing a world that frequently resembles a
hell. I'm sick of listening to some slick proto-human standing up and
telling me that they're going to fix something about the way humans
interact and make it better for everyone once they have all the
power. I'm jaded. I can't see a politician standing up to fix
something without assuming they're going to destroy something else. I
don't trust. I made fun of how boring it was, but at least the
organic farming life is simple and somewhat cut off from all the
nonsense that is giving the rest of us psychic brain tumours. I'm not
saying I want to move away and farm. Our cities are fascinating
places where a lot of people do interesting things and I wouldn't
want to be cut off from that. Just don't be surprised if I walk away
when you start talking politics.
10:12 – Late night pizza snack? Don't
mind if I do.
10:50 – Homemade pizza snack took
just as long as I'd hoped. We're mired in analysis now. I always love
hearing talking points a second time from someone of dubious
pedigree. Like that time I went out to a certified dog breeder to get
a golden retriever and had a guy that runs a chop-shop repeat
everything he said. It's the cold pizza of listening to things, and
people who don't like hot pizza are fucked and need to get off this
planet.
11:25 – Just read this back. There is
no escaping the debate. The psychic toll was still extracted from my
skull. The politicians have our souls. Mercy. Mercy please.
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