Thursday, 21 November 2013

Gravity Emanating from Rob Ford Scandal Shatters Everything

We're losing the field here!

How? How and why?

In this context how and why are the same question

Then how did it manage to trip you up and not answer it?

It's this Ford thing, it's making Canada's minds fold in on themselves


Exactly, his existence is taking our thoughts and spinning them backwards

So every thought is getting curtailed and mashed back into itself before it gets a chance to be anything?

Looks like it

Are we the same person?

I can see bits of Goose-Shredder, and bits of Betty, but I can't tell which is me

It's the same for me, this guy's thoughts must have crushed the characters together

This Rob Ford Gravity is potent stuff

At least we still have our sentience, that's a good sign

Can we stomp or jump up and down really hard? Can we get his attention? Would that help?

There's no way that would help. Let's do it

Hey!

Stop trying to figure out that clown!

Yeah! In two weeks he's just going to be a footnote in 'The Fuck-Up Handbook'

We will destroy your headspace with our feet!

Look for 'The Fuck-Up Handbook' on bookshelves Fall 2014!

[Something time-esque elapses]

I don't think it worked

How could we possibly know if it worked?

[the disembodied voices hang out on a burgundy backround for a bit]

I wish we had some cigarettes or something

I wish I could tell if I smoked or not

Yeah, now that we're mashed together, do both of us smoke, or is it still one smokes and the other doesn't like usual? Do we both kind-of smoke?

I don't know, nothing gets resolved in Rob Ford Gravity

Nothing useful happens in Rob Ford Gravity

Don't the Ford supporters remind you of someone crawling back to an abusive relationship right now?

Yeah, self respect is in short supply in that city

The story just keeps getting worse

I bet if we stop paying attention for two months, when we check back on what he's up to, Rob Ford will be biting your grandmother on the neck and taking meth as a suppository

That doesn't sound crazy enough. The pace the Rob Ford scandal is escalating at is outstanding. In two months Rob Ford will be crashing the International Space Station into a Mexican nursery school while giving Anders Breivik a high five

Holy shit, that's pretty out there

That's the trajectory of all this. It's just science

I'm glad I didn't say it

You kind of half did

If that's the trajectory of all this, we should probably stop Rob Ford

Yeah, he doesn't have anything good left for us

But it is kind of interesting, what he did to the blog

Stop it, that man is poison, this is poisoned. Hopefully things like the Toronto City Council and PAJ will be working in a way humans can tolerate next week

Well then this will be the last time I mention this guy to anyone. I'm forgetting him. Let's talk about something else, please

Okay

[awkward silence for eternity]

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